Title: Lorelai’s First Cotillion

It’s not really a pop culture reference, but more of a functional episode title. A Cotillion is a formal ball to begin the training and presentation of debutantes to society. It’s mostly for middle schoolers to teach them proper social etiquette and such. Seems right up Emily’s alley.

Summary: Lorelai has an existential crisis over Pop Tarts. Rory tries sexting. Emily is a cotillion drill sergeant. Michel is humiliated without a boutonniere. Zach is cool with the whole baby thing.

RORY: You know “Charlotte’s Web” is one of my favorite books. LORELAI: Spiders talking to pigs. What could be better?

Aw, Charlotte’s Web. A classic tale about talking animals, pig slaughter, and the power of language. It’s one of the best-selling children’s books of all time, and is known for it’s rhythmic writing style that resembles a swing on a farm.

CHARLOTTE: My grandparents took me to a Count Basie tribute at Tanglewood.

Basie was an American jazz musician, bandleader, and composer who won 9 Grammys and worked with some of the biggest stars of his day. He had a cameo with his band in Blazing Saddles, the Mel Brooks classic and Gilmore Favorite. (See Season 2, Episode 15 for Lorelai’s Mel Brooks tattoo idea.)

RORY: Helen Keller and Stephen Hawking could have a more connected conversation.

Helen Keller overcame deaf-blindness to become an inspirational figure. She probably would have struggled with phone conversations, though.

Stephen Hawking is a theoretical physicist, cosmologist, and all-around genius but has a rare form of ALS. He communicates solely through a speech device. He’d be better on the phone than Helen Keller.

CHARLOTTE: She’s the one I told you about — a regular Imogene Coca.

Imogene was a former vaudevillian child star who became a variety show comedy actress. She was known for her rubber-like face that was able to portray comedic expressions, often compared to Charlie Chaplin. You might remember Imogene as Aunt Edna in National Lampoon’s Vacation. They tied her and her rocking chair to the top of the car after she passed away during their pilgrimage cross-country to Walley World.

MICHEL: I love them. They are like Madame Alexander dolls come to life.

A brand of collectible dolls known for their angelic faces, and depiction of real-life characters and living people. They are a little creepy, but the Scarlett O’Hara one is cool.

RORY: Well it’s supposed to be metaphorical and evocative. It’s Henry Miller. LANE: Henry miller has better stuff than that. Believe me that is not why they banned his books.

Not to be confused with Norman Mailer (See Season 5, Episode 6). Henry Miller was a controversial American author known for, among other things, his explicit and sexual language.  He was married 5 times! His work can be seen in a special collection at the Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Yale. I bet Rory has been there, or perhaps the Gilmore’s contributed to the financing of the collection at the Rare Manuscript Acquisition Foundation dinner in Season 4, Episode 13.

BEVERLY: She also told us that you were a delightful dining companion, like Noel Coward and Slim Keith rolled into one.

Sir Noel Coward was an English playwright, director, and actor known for his wit, flamboyance, and unique personal style. His image was carefully crafted and nearly always included a cigarette holder and a silk dressing robe. One of his best quotes – “I am determined to travel through life first class.”

Nancy “Slim” Keith was a New York socialite and fashion icon of the 50s and 60s. She grew up in California and was dubbed the original “California Girl”. She kept a famous friends circle including Clark Gable, Ernest Hemingway, and Truman Capote.

LORELAI: Oh, well, she’s delightful, too, like Shirley Temple and Mother Teresa and someone with very good table manners rolled into one.

Who didn’t want those perfect curls and dance moves? Charlotte did have a little Shirley Temple in her, what with her sweet and wholesome demeanor. Shirley Temple retired from films at the young age of 22, and became the US Ambassador to Ghana and Czechoslovakia. But not before she sang about animal crackers in our soup.

Mother Teresa was the modern-day saint, well-known outside of the Catholic Church. She is known for selflessly helping any and everyone, especially for the very sick and poor. Her Missionaries of Charity is in 133 countries and adheres to the vow to give wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor. Mother Teresa probably would have thought table manners, and the cotillion for that matter were overrated.