Title: ‘S Wonderful, ‘S Marvelous

Funny Face! The jazz standard “‘S Marvelous” was sung by Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face, about a bookish girl getting plucked into the world of high society (ahem, Rory!). Coincidentally, it was also sung by Audrey Hepburn and Gene Kelly in An American in Paris. Fitting for Lorelai and Christopher’s Parisian lovefest (Season 7, Episode 7).

Summary: Lorelai and Christopher fight Snakes on a Plane, then go on a 1950s date. Menace-to-society Emily Gilmore finally gets nabbed. Rory makes popcorn with her new girlfriends. April likes avocado pits and being annoying. Luke goes to Target.

LORELAI: No! No! A movie should not just be its title. Driving Miss Daisy didn’t all take place in the car, Dances With Wolves wasn’t one long wolf dance. But this was nothing but snakes, snakes, relentless snakes, Snakes on a Plane. Snakes, snakes, snakes on a plane!

Driving Miss Daisy, starring Morgan Freeman and a crabby old lady! Must have been based on Gran/Trix’s life. Both Miss Daisy and her driver, Hoke, bond over the fact that they both face prejudice. Glad to finally see Morgan Freeman getting some work, he’s hardly in any movies.

I feel like I only ever see Kevin Costner in sports movies and Westerns, anyone else?Well, when you find your zone its good to stay there. Costner actually directed, produced, and starred in Dances With Wolves so I guess it was a story he really wanted to tell.  In short, a Civil War soldier becomes close with a tribe of Lakota Sioux and abandons his old way of life to join them. They give him the name Dances With Wolves after he befriends a small white wolf cub he names Two Socks. Most of the dialogue of the film is in Lakotan with English subtitles. Though the dialogue and pronunciation weren’t always accurate, the movie is generally praised by Native Americans for its use of their language and Native American and Canadian actors.

Snakes on a Plane, a classic bad movie from the 2000s. Starring Samuel L. Jackson , the premise is that some bad guys release killer snakes on a plane to kill a key trial witness who happens to be on-board. And the title is right – there are snakes everywhere on this plane! They are coming out of the bathroom, the overhead compartments, even the cockpit. Many passengers and the pilots are killed, but Kenan (of Kenan & Kel) lands the plane safely. Weird plot, but okay. Interesting story – the film became an internet phenomenon (because of the insane plot and casting) before it was even released and the producers actually took the online feedback of fans into their production. They ordered five days of reshoots to make it an R-rated film, adding in the fan-created now-infamous line “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

Addressing why he’d star in such a film, Jackson said “I feel sorry for all those people that are going through that whole trip of ‘Why would Samuel Jackson do something like this?’ and ‘It’s lowbrow.’ It’s a movie. People go to movies on Saturday to get away from the war in Iraq and taxes and election news and pedophiles online and just go and have some fun and I like doing movies that are fun.”

LORELAI: We can never see “Casablanca” together.

Many a reference to Casablanca from our Gilmore Girls. Its the classic to compare all films to, with Humphrey Bogart being all moody and sexy. Interestingly, it was rushed to premiere right after the allied invasion of North Africa in 1942, contributing to its initial success. It’s generally considered to be the most beloved Hollywood film and gave us such quotables as “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine” and “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship” (GG S1E18).

LORELAI: We’ll have to consult Emily Post again.

The Queen of etiquette herself and probably Emily Gilmore’s Patron Saint. Her great-great-granddaughters are etiquette writers, carrying on the family name that is synonymous with proper society.

MISS PATTY: Look at that turnout. And the hips of Anna Pavlova.

Anna Pavlova was a Russian prima Ballerina in the late 19th century. She became famous for her creation of the Dying Swan, a modern inspiration and interpretation of Odette in Swan Lake. For the record, I don’t think gross April had the hips and turnout of Anna Pavlova. Cool your jets Miss Patty.

PARIS: We’re like the Ephron and Bernstein of the group.

Nora Ephron and Carl Bernstein. Nora being the well-known author and screenwriter behind romantic comedies like When Harry Met Sally (great movie!) and Bernstein of Watergate fame. They had a very messy, public break-up which included Nora writing about Carl’s affair in thinly veiled characters, and blabbing who Deep Throat was to anyone who would listen. Carl threatened to sue over the representation of him and his mistress, British politician Margaret Jay, in Nora’s work, but never did.

LORELAI: Dinner at Pastis, drinks at the Algonquin…

Pastis is a swanky French Restaurant that helped revitalize the now-trendy Meatpacking district in NY. It’s been closed for a few years now, though. What was once cool is now seemingly passe, but I guess that’s what happens when Gilmore Girls turns 18 before your eyes.

The Algonquin Hotel is best known for the Algonquin Round Table, the name for a group of NY authors and other cultural leaders, like Robert Benchley and Dorothy Parker. It’s where Parker first uttered her famous line “You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think” during a game the group frequently played.

LORELAI: Oh, hello, “bullitt.” Are you taking me on a car chase through the streets of San Francisco?

Steve McQueen as Lt. Steve Bullitt, the titular role of this 1968 thriller. The movie features a legendary car chase scene through the streets of San Francisco (hence the joke) which is regarded as one of the best in history. The movie and car (Ford Mustang) were so popular that Ford released a Bullitt version of the Mustang in 2001. Apparently the real Mustang used in the film was recently found and restored after going missing for many years. For all you Paul Walker fans out there (RIP, still crying over that one), Brian O’Connor was briefly nicknamed Bullitt in nod to this film during the second movie of the Fast & Furious franchise.

LORELAI: Are we at Woodstock? I think we’re late.

Ah Woodstock, you need no introduction. The infamous 1969 festival was only supposed to last the weekend but everyone was having suchhhh a good time they let it spill over into Monday. You know you’ve had a good weekend when…

More than 400,000 people showed up which seems insane for 1969. They ran out of money for fencing and ticket booths (it went to stage production instead) so they had to make it free last minute. Despite the amazing crowds that showed up, only two accidental deaths were reported and very little violence. Two babies entered the world during the festival. What a welcome!

And is this not present-day Milo Ventimiglia time traveling at Woodstock??

LORELAI: Whatcha in the mood for? “Jailhouse Rock“? “Folsom Prison Blues“? I know. “Working on the Chain Gang.”

The King of hip-shaking himself, Elvis Presley, makes an appearance here. Though this was one of his most popular songs, the lyrics are supposedly referencing homosexual prison encounters. Have you seen the Shawshank Redemption? Yikes! Presley also starred in a film of the same name in 1957 – but no guy-on-guy action sadly.

“Folsom Prison Blues” was the Man in Black, Johnny Cash’s breakout song. Cash drew on a fake history of jail time to give him some street cred. Though I don’t blame him, the guy had a tough life, one that made him feel trapped in an imaginary prison I imagine. Sorry for the sentiment, I really like Mr. Cash.

 “Working on the Chain Gang” was a 1960 hit by Sam Cooke. Not a super popular track but one that has been re-recorded a few  times. It’s also a popular movie trope – a bunch of inmates all chain together, being forced to work in the hot sun. Rory has a little experience with this from her trash-picking days (GG S6E2). Oh girl, how you’ve grown up.

LUCY: He says to me, “a girl can’t play Oscar Wilde. I want people to take this production seriously,” like he’s Peter Brook.

Lucy could totally play Oscar Wilde! She has the flamboyant style and biting wit that was such a part of Wilde’s persona. Best known for his hilarious quips (epigrams) and novel The Picture of Dorian Gray and play The Importance of Being Earnest, Wilde suffered an untimely death due to imprisonment on crimes of sodomy and indecency. The most tragic thing I can think of for such a gem. My favorite Wilde quote: “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” TRUTH.

Peter Brook is an English theater and film director, often called the greatest living theater director. The dude is 90 and still directing. He’s done a lot of Shakespeare productions, collaborated with Salvador Dali, and won too many awards to count.

LUCY: He keeps hounding me about how I’d be perfect for his production of “California Suite” because I have such a gift for physical comedy.

This 1976 play was staged all in one hotel suite, plus adjoining bathroom, in the Beverly Hills Hotel. It’s 4 playlets each with a different title “Vistors from…” The stories include an insufferable divorced couple, a man trying to hid an unconscious prostitute from his wife, an actress who is more focused on her Oscar nomination than her barely-closeted husband who is becoming increasingly indiscreet, and two rich couples fighting over a tennis injury. Hilarity and tons of physical comedy ensue. Lucy would have been perfect.

LORELAI: Somewhere in my youth or childhood… CHRISTOPHER: …you must have done something good.

Who doesn’t love this beautiful moment from Sound of Music where Maria and Captain Von Stickintheass finally get together? It’s one of my all-time favorites. The romance in the lyrics, that even though we were such awful kids/teens we must have done something good enough to deserve our true love? Maybe I was just an unruly teenager, but this one always gets me.

This song was not part of the original Sound of Music stage production but was written specifically for the film along with “I Have Confidence”.