Title: Rory’s Birthday Parties

This one is pretty self-explanatory: Rory has two birthday parties.

Summary: Emily serves pudding, a major peace offering. Rory turns 16 and gets two parties, one slightly better than the other. Lorelai takes Emily shopping for Barbara Hutton. Burger Boy proposes, then brings ice. Jackson makes a ras-quat. The Gilmores finally visit Stars Hollow. Richard discovers he is an “Autumn”. 

EMILY: My daughter — Henny Youngman.

Henry “Henny” Youngman was an American Comedian, known as “The King of the One-Liners” for perfecting the one line joke. His most famous one you’ve probably heard – “Take my wife… please.” During a time (1940s and 50s) when most of his peers were telling long anecdote-style jokes, Henny perfected the art of the one-liner, telling jokes one after the other often with an interlude of violin in between. He got his start working in a print shop, writing “comedy cards” that contained one-line quips. He was discovered by the famous Milton Berle who once said “The only thing funnier than Henny’s jokes is his violin playing.” But he became a favorite of popular culture and when New York Telephone Company introduced his Dial-A-Joke line in 1974, more than 3 millions people called in one month to hear 30 seconds of Youngman’s jokes.

Henny was raised Jewish in New York – which may sound familiar to all Amy Sherman Palladio fans. Jewish, New York, Comedian – ring any bells? I hope you are loving The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel as much as I am.

RORY: You couldn’t get her to cave. LORELAI: No, but she did agree to make the string quartet to learn “Like A Virgin.”

Like a Virgin played by strings would be pretty Rock & Roll, if you ask me. This Madonna classic was released in 1984, as the lead single to her album of the same name. It was her first chart-topping single in most of the English speaking world, and the song that really took her to the land of infamy she currently inhabits. She famously performed Like A Virgin in full wedding garb at the 1984 VMAs, singing on top of a giant wedding cake with a veil and a belt that said “Boy Toy”. It is still one of the most remembered and influential VMA performances ever, though Madonna has had her fair share of them – the infamous Madonna/Britney/Christina kiss, anyone?

RORY: So, is this party Grandma’s having going to be a big deal?
LORELAI: Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbra Streisand will give her final concert…again. RORY: Uh-huh. LORELAI: Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he’s trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they’re bringing chips.

Some people just can’t stay in retirement, huh Richard? Barbra Streisand, the incomparable Jewish American singer and actress, famously announced that her 2000 tour would be her last and that she would retire from public performances. But she has since gone on to have two more worldwide tours, one in 2006 and one in 2012-13. So I guess you can’t believe a word she says. And she is not the only one to promise a farewell tour, only to do it again a few years later – Cher, David Bowie, Elton John. It’s become somewhat of a running joke.

Well, Elvis and Jim Morrison might be a little harder to get than Barbra Streisand.  Elvis, the King of Rock and Roll, died in a somewhat hilariously tragic way in 1977. By the time his divorce with Priscilla was finalized in 1973, Elvis’s health had really deteriorated from too many years of hard living. If the booze and drugs didn’t kill him, the cheeseburgers would have. And, in the most embarrassing way to die ever, Elvis was found in a seated position laying on the bathroom floor with his pants around his ankles after apparently passing away on the toilet. He just toppled right over on to the floor. Not a good way to go. Even though he had become a grotesque version of his former self in his later years, nearly the entire country mourned his passing. Ask anyone over 60 where they were when they found out Elvis died, and I bet they can remember – just like the Kennedy assassination or 9/11.

Jim Morrison was also taken down by drugs, as many were in the 70s. Jim, the frontman for The Doors, died at the age of 27 in Paris in 1971. An autopsy was never performed but an official cause of death was listed as heart failure. His on-again-off-again life partner/common-law wife found him dead in their bathtub and she herself went on to die of a heroin overdose three years later. And perhaps partly because of his tragic death, Jim Morrison has stayed in the spotlight long after his death. He was a symbol of the hippie counterculture of the 60s and has continued to be a beacon of independence for generations of teens. I have to admit I went through a bit of a Jim Morrison phase, crushing on guys who were dark and aloof. That hair, that moodiness, mmhmm. There is a little Jess there I suppose.

SOOKIE: Too bad you couldn’t get your mom to relinquish Friday night. LORELAI: No, she has her Vulcan death grip on that one.

One for the Star Trek nerds, eh Luke? (S2E8) Vulcans from planet Vulcan are a human-like alien species from the popular franchise. They are known for living according to logic and reason, with as little emotion as possible. Spock, played famously by Leonard Nemoy, is the most known Vulcan (although he is technically half Vulcan, half human) and a friend to Captain Kirk. The “Vulcan Death Grip” was a fake technique once used by Spock to sneak Captain Kirk back on the ship by making him appear dead, tricking the Romulans who were after Kirk. He used it a few other times to get Kirk out of a jam. But nonetheless, it’s something Spock made up on the spot, making it that much more interesting seeing as it has made its way into our lexicon.

LORELAI: You didn’t build one of those machines like in “The Fly” did you? We’re not going to find you wandering the streets wearing a raspberry head crying, “eat me!”

Starring the beloved Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis, The Fly was a 1986 film loosely based off a short story of the same name. Goldblum plays a crazy scientist who turns into a man-fly hybrid after one of his experiments goes wrong. I think this sounds like the worst movie ever but apparently, it was a huge hit, praised for Goldblum’s performance and the special effects. And I just learned that this movie is where we get the phrase “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” I say that all the time and had no idea it was the tagline for The Fly!

LORELAI: ‘And Justin is just so dreamy. He can’t marry Britney, I’ll just cry and cry and cry.’

Oh, Justin and Britney – what could have been! Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears dated for 3 three years, from 1999 to 2002 and it looked (at least to this 12 year old) like they were true love. The pair met while they both starred on The Mickey Mouse Club, along with Ryan Gosling and Christina Aguilera. Then Britney opened for NSYNC’s tour in 1999 and the rest is history. I’ve read rumors that Justin still isn’t over Britney, that he wrote Cry Me A River in response to their break-up, that she cheated on him – causing the split, and that he has used the break-up to propel his career over and over again. The dude is still talking about it almost 20 years later. Ugh, get a life. But who knows what really happened? What I do know is that if it weren’t for them, I would never know how good a couple can look in matching denim outfits.

EMILY: A Mont Blanc pen? LORELAI: To put on her desk at the law firm?

Lorelai’s response to this is so funny. A Mont Blanc pen costs anywhere from $400 to $10,000 so you know Emily was about to drop at least a $G on a pen for a 16-year-old. Now that’s just ridiculous.

EMILY: Please be serious, we’re shopping for Rory. LORELAI: No, Mom, I’m shopping for Rory. You’re shopping for your imaginary granddaughter, Barbara Hutton.

Barbara Hutton would be Emily Gilmore’s imaginary granddaughter. She was an American debutante who earned the unfortunate nickname of “Poor Little Rich Girl” because of her lavish coming out party during the Great Depression but also because of her later troubled life. When Seth MacFarlane called Lorelai “Poor Little Rich Girl” at her graduation from business school (Season 2 Episode 21) I didn’t realize it was a nod to Barbara Hutton. But Hutton did really have a terrible life despite her wealth. She was divorced 7 times and often exploited or abused by her husbands – including 3 princes, a baron, a count, and Cary Grant. She was the envy of many for her beauty and wealth but behind closed doors, she had very few friends or caring people in her life and found solace in drinking and drugs. Just another example to prove money can’t buy happiness.

EMILY: Oh, yes, and there was a T-shirt with a Farrah Fawcett face. LORELAI: A hero to many who aspire to the perfect feather fluff.

Farrah Fawcett became famous in the 70s for her role as agent Jill Munroe on Charlie’s Angels. She was only in the first season, departing after a legal dispute, but yet she is forever burned in our brains as Charlie’s Angel. Farrah became known for her perfect blond feathered hair and tanned California skin. It probably helped that the year before the TV show premiered, Farrah released a pin-up poster of her in a red swimsuit. It’s iconic so you’ve probably seen it. The poster photo shoot has an interesting backstory actually – Farrah did her own hair, adding highlights with lemon juice, and did her own makeup without a mirror. Turns out she really is just that beautiful. The show combined with the poster launched her into permanent stardom.

LORELAI: So, now tell me, why Miss Lemonhead today?

Mmhm, Lemonheads. The lemon candy is an old favorite, released to the market in 1962. They are known for their sweet coating and sour center. And I think Lorelai is referring to Rory’s sour demeanor here, hence Miss Lemonhead. At first, I thought she meant those cute illustrations – ya know, like Little Miss Fun but turns out there is no Little Miss Lemonhead. So I’m guessing she means the candy.

RORY: So do I look older? LORELAI: Oh, yeah. You walk into Denny’s before 5, you’ve got yourself a discount.

The classic Early Bird Dinner, meant to entice the older crowd into their local restaurant before 5pm for a special discount. It’s available in many places but Denny’s was/is? famous for it. You had to be over 55 to get the discount so Lorelai is saying that Rory looks like a senior citizen at 16 years old. Be offended Rory! The custom isn’t as popular anymore as baby boomers who now qualify as Seniors don’t like being associated with something their older generation embraced. But if you call it Happy Hour, they’re there.

RORY: I wonder if the Waltons ever did this.

The Walton family were the center of a CBS television show of the same name,airing from 1972 to 1981. The show was set in rural Virginia during the Great Depression and WWII, and dealt with typical family issues of growing children, small towns, and farming. Ya know, typical stuff. Every episode ended with the family calling goodnight to each other from their bedrooms while the camera pans out on the house in the dark. The show was very popular and has been in reruns ever since, plus 6 spin-off movies. Interestingly, the Walton house looks a little like The Dragonfly Inn. Hmmmm, same set?

EMILY: Well I wanted everything to be perfect. What do you think? LORELAI: I think Edith Wharton would have been proud, and busy taking notes.

Edith Wharton, the first woman to win a Nobel Prize for Literature, was an American novelist and a member of the upper crust of New York. She was born Edith Newbold Jones but developed the adorable nickname of “Pussy Jones” amongst friends and family. Hehe. Her family was very wealthy and some say that the term “Keeping up with the Joneses” was originally referring to her family. She began writing and making up stories at the age of four, and used her inner knowledge of the upper-class New York aristocracy to drive her novels. She played the part of socialite and debutante in her personal life but was really gathering information and stories for her novels – hence what Lorelai is referring to here. Her most famous work, The Age of Innocence, earned her a Nobel Prize in 1921.

RORY: What are you drinking? LORELAI: A Shirley Temple Black. (Lorelai lets Rory smell her drink.) RORY: Wow. LORELAI: I got your Good Ship Lollipop right here, mister. 

Shirley Temple is both a drink (grenadine, sprite, and a cherry,  plus whiskey in Lorelai’s case) and an adorable early Hollywood actress whom the drink is named after. In fact, I can only imagine her as the little girl singing “Animal Crackers in My Soup” with perfect ringlets. But turns out she did become an adult and even went on to become the US Ambassador to Ghana and Czechoslovakia. She got her start in acting at the age of three and becoming nationally beloved because of her doll-like appearance and unique singing voice. Her signature song was “On the Good Ship Lollipop”, about a magic plane that takes you to a candy land. Somewhere I imagine Lorelai and Rory wish they could disappear to at this moment.

RORY: I’m sorry I snapped at Grandma. LORELAI: Yeah, huh? That was a pretty ‘Freaky Friday‘ moment we had back there.

One of my favorite movies as a kid, Freaky Friday is the classic mother-daughter body-switching tale. The story was first a children’s novel by Mary Rodgers and has become two feature films and a play. The version I saw as a kid, and definitely what Lorelai is referring to was the 1976 movie starring Jodie Foster as Annabel Andrews and Barbara Harris as her mother. The two are always fighting and on Friday the 13th, the two switch bodies after they both say “I wish I could switch places with her for just one day.” There is a great waterskiing action scene and in the end, they both gain a new understanding of the other. It was remade in 2003 with Jamie Lee Curtis as mom and Lindsay Lohan as daughter. The original is much better though!