Title: Forgiveness and Stuff

There’s a lot of forgiving in this episode. Lorelai forgives Rory and Dean. Emily and Lorelai forgive each other. We forgive Luke of any future wrongdoings because of his adorable Santa Burger. It would be a really feel-good episode if it weren’t for the hospital trip, ya know?

Summary:  Lorelai and Rory haven’t made up yet. Neither have Lorelai and Emily. Lorelai is uninvited to Christmas dinner which means no apple tarts. Narcolepsy Boy gets caught at Rory’s window. Luke shows his love with a Santa Burger. Richard has a heart attack scare.

LORELAI: It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

One of Bing Crosby’s old standbys (or Perry Como, depending on who you ask), this Christmas classic was first recorded in 1951. It has since gone on to be featured in probably every holiday movie since then. It’s been covered by many pop singers since then, helping it withstand the test of time.

LANE: Let me guess. You and Lorelai haven’t made up yet? RORY: Nope. Things are still Miracle Worker at my house.

First a book, then a play, and a few movies, The Miracle Worker is the story of Helen Keller and her teacher Annie Sullivan. Sullivan helps Keller, who is both deaf and blind, learn to communicate. (Rory says it’s ‘Miracle Worker‘ at her house implying Lorelai isn’t speaking to her.) Anne Bancroft starred as Annie Sullivan in the Broadway show and the first film in 1962. This comes up later in Season 4, Episode 20 when Lorelai suggests they watch Fatso written and directed by Bancroft to which Rory quips “Well, Annie Sullivan, look at you go.”

RORY: Yes I did. I got a moo-ing cow-shaped timer for Sookie, some cardio-salsa tapes for Michel.

What a perfect gift for Michel! For those that wanted to get fit and have some good ol’ fashioned embarrassing fun in their living room, cardio salsa videos were popular in the 90s and 2000s, along with Tae-bo and Zumba. They had great names like “Dance Off The Inches” and “Sexy Salsa”. Lorelai tries to guilt Rory into trying cardio salsa with her in Season 3, something that would have been pretty off-brand I guess.

LANE: You got Dean a book? RORY: Yeah. ‘Metamorphosis’. LANE: ‘Metamorphosis.’ RORY: It’s Kafka.

Definitely not a good gift for your new boyfriend, no matter how brainy you are. Metamorphosis, by Franz Kafka, is about a man who wakes up one day and he’s a giant insect, so he’s gotta deal with that. It’s largely regarded as a complex allegory and people don’t seem to agree on its meaning. Maybe it’s about Kafka’s daddy issues or a commentary on religion or the artist’s struggle to convey his message at all.

LORELAI: Yes it is, how do you think your grandma got those legs of hers? She’s not exactly a Stairmaster gal.

Stairmaster makes popular gym equipment, mostly stair steppers and treadmills. I can’t really think of anything clever to say about this, except that if I picture Emily working out at all besides Tennis, it’s probably on a Stairmaster. It’s a little more dignified than sweating on a treadmill.

LORELAI: I don’t remember the country club organizing a Tae Bo class.

Another workout reference in this episode, interesting. Created by the great Billy Banks, Tae Bo is a mixed martial arts based workout program mostly in at-home media but sometimes via group class in a gym. The name comes from a mix of Taekwondo and Boxing, duh. I remember doing Tae Bo with my tennis team in high school. Thank God we didn’t really have social media back then so videos of me trying Tae bo will never surface – Myspace doesn’t count.

LORELAI: Mm-hmm…Well, how long until your brother’s back with the razor scooter? 

If you never got whacked in the shins by a razor scooter, did you even live in the 2000s? This folding scooter was the cool kid version of the bike for quick parentless transportation. When I was younger I always thought there should be an electric version of the razor, and now we have the Bird and many other versions from your favorite rideshare apps. Who stole my idea?

LORELAI: Because I’m still a little hot for that crazy bomber guy who’s been living in a cave for a year.

Mr. Unabomber himself, Ted Kaczynski terrorized the country for 20 years and lived in a remote cabin in Montana with no running water or electricity for like 25 years. He was responsible for 16 bombings throughout the country, mostly universities and airlines, from 1978 to his arrest in 1996. He believed industrialization was destroying our earth and advocated a nature-centered form of anarchism. He was eventually caught by the FBI after their longest and most expensive investigation ever. He is currently held in a “supermax” prison in Colorado.

EMILY: It’s not ‘Ms. Gilmore’, it’s Mrs. Gilmore! Mrs. Gilmore, I’m not a cosmo woman!

I think she’s taking a jab at the “modern woman”, those of us for women’s rights and equality. The phrase “cosmo girl” refers to Cosmopolitan magazine which routinely covers sexuality, contraception, career advice, health, and more topics sometimes viewed as controversial.

LORELAI: Where’s the Scarecrow when you need him?

“If I only had a brain.” The Scarecrow helped lead Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road through the Land of Oz, helping her defeat the Wicked Witch of the West. L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz from 1900 was turned into one of the classic Hollywood films, The Wizard of Oz in 1939 starring Judy Garland as Dorothy. When she meets the Scarecrow at the beginning of her journey, he believes he doesn’t have a brain but in reality, is just a couple days old so he doesn’t know much yet. When Dorothy completes her quest, The Wizard gives the Scarecrow a diploma for a Doctorate in Thinkology.

LUKE: So who are you gonna go find now? How about Jimmy Hoffa? That’ll keep you busy for a while.

Jimmy Hoffa was a Teamsters union leader and an organized crime boss, big in the 60s and 70s. He was convicted of jury tampering, bribery, and fraud but pardoned by Nixon in 1971 with some restrictions. But he wanted to remain involved in union activities, one of the restrictions, so he disappeared in 1975. But he’s never been found and was declared dead “in absentia” in 1982. Some people think he was killed by the mob since he was meeting two mob leaders when he disappeared. So Lorelai is unlikely to find him – the mob covers their tracks pretty well.

LORELAI: Rory, there are only two things that I totally trust in this entire world. The fact that I will never be able to understand what Charo is saying no matter how long she lives in this country – and you.

María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Baeza, or simply Charo, is a Spanish-American actress, singer, etc. She is known for her heavy accent, over-the-top personality, exuberant dancing, and her catchphrase – “cuchi-cuchi”. Throughout the 60s and 70s, she appeared on many popular TV shows – The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Laugh-In, and The Tonight Show with Jimmy Carson. You might have seen her in the last few years as a guest and contestant on Dancing with the Stars.